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  • Writer's pictureKristy Barkley

Building Abundant Wealth

What is blocking you from soaring to new heights? Do you even recognize that it is something internal blocking you? Or are you always blaming outside forces for why you aren’t achieving what you hope to achieve? There, that question right there is a hard pill to swallow when you accept that you, your mind and your choices are why you are where you are. At least it was tough for me when I accepted it, and when my coach helped me break through all my blocks, I literally had an emotional detox. It was ugly and it was painful, but on the other side, I felt a million pounds lighter.

My coach, Sarah Centrella, narrows blocks down to 3 categories, Broke Mindset Block, Worthiness Block and Low-Key Martyr Block. Let’s tackle BROKE MINDSET BLOCK first, because I struggled with this one the most. “The broke mindset is simply the belief (conscious or subconscious) that you don’t have, and probably will never have, “enough money.” That getting money is hard.” (pg 38, #FUTUREBOARDS)

I believe that a ton of people struggle with this block, so I will share my journey through it and how I am successfully on the other side! I hope it helps you.  When I started with Sarah, I was able to identify that I was horrible with money, that I was addicted to shopping, that I was an emotional shopper and worst of all, no matter how much money my husband and I made (more than enough), I spent more than that. Why did I think I had this issue? Because I grew up without much money at all. Because no matter how broke my mom was, she would still get me the Jordache jeans and high-top Reeboks I wanted. Because in my mind, if you want it, you get it and you figure out how to pay for it later (pick up an extra bartending shift). I think it is important to note here that I AM not blaming my mom!! My mom came from very little as well and she often worked 3 jobs to make sure I had whatever I wanted. She was showing me how loved I was, I just never learned how to be smart about money. I began working and earning money 31 years ago! If in 31 years I still hadn’t figured out how to spend less than I earned, even after listening to 3,000 episodes of Dave Ramsey, that is on me.

Anyway, what Sarah did was dig deep into my story to figure out what was really happening, and it was a few things, I’ll share them in case one hits home for you. First, in my home, we used horrible words when talking about money, read that again! In my home, we used horrible words when talking about money. Here are phrases that could be heard in my home on a regular basis, “We’re out of money!”, “Where has all of the money gone?”, “Did you really need to buy that?”, “We will never have enough money, no matter how much we make.”, “We can’t afford that.”, “We will never save enough to be able to do that.”, “We just barely get by.”, and every time that my sweet husband sat down to balance the checkbook on Quicken I would get as small as possible, even leave the house if I could. I was so afraid of his reaction. If you learn nothing else, if you stop reading right now, learn this…Stop using this type of language about your finances! Whatever you speak out loud or think about regularly will come to you. The universe gives you what you are focused on and what you talk about! This is not hocus pocus, this is truth. We eliminated all of these phrases from our conversations, and although Rob thought I was crazy, he loves me, so he went along with my crazy. The other thing we did? We removed the word “Save” from our vocabulary. Sarah helped me discover that the word “Save” had a very bad connotation for me, I hated it, and when I was told to save, I would get angry. So what words did we start using in our home back in September? “Abundant Wealth” How does that sound and how do we use it? “I’m not going to get that right now, because I am building abundant wealth.”, “Our abundant wealth is a little low this week, so be careful.”, “Andrew, why don’t we build a little more abundant wealth before we buy that?”, “We are working hard, so abundant wealth is on its way to us”. Do you see the difference? My mind is now focused on “Abundant Wealth” rather than being “Out of Money”.

Okay, let’s talk about what was really, really, hard for me. The judgement I felt around having abundance was truly preventing me from earning more and it was causing me to self-sabotage what I did earn. I got it in my head that being wealthy also meant, being a snob, acting like you are better than everyone else, making others feel bad because they don’t have as much as I do, being a part of a social class that was above me and I wouldn’t fit in, feeling like I needed to constantly give more to those in need rather than do fun things for myself. You guys!!! Hear me on this! Those are all lies that I told myself and I believed them!  I wanted nothing to do with being that wealthy person! I was comfortable being the average person. But you know what? Average people very rarely change the world! Are there some wealthy people who are evil and spread hate and cause others to think it is the money that made them bad? Yes, there are. But guess what? The money did not make them bad, hateful people! That is just who they are. If they were broke, they would be the hateful broke people who walk around complaining about everything, insulting what they have been given because it isn’t good enough and just being downright toxic. You see, it’s the person, not what is in their bank account, that determines how someone behaves.

I felt overwhelming guilt that my husband and I make so much more than anyone else in my family, except my crazy rich aunt (doesn’t everyone have at least one of those?). I did not want to earn so much that they felt uncomfortable around me (I made that story up in my head). So every time I started earning A LOT, I backed off the throttle because I was uncomfortable with it.

Another big issue I had? I still hadn’t figured out how to spend less than I made. I have a confession to make, the first month that I earned $8,800, I spent almost all of it within 10 days. My husband of course wanted to know where all of the money went and I had no explanation and it wasn’t a good thing. You know what my subconscious did? Avoid! It told me that if I kept earning that amount of money or more each month, I would spend it all and if I did that month after month, the fights with my husband would be horrific. So guess what I decided to do? Earn less money so we wouldn’t have anything to fight about. I didn’t plan to do that, I didn’t even recognize that I was doing it. Thanks again to my life coach for pointing it out to me so I could move through it!

Sarah helped me unpack that, along with everything else I have shared with you. Honestly, it was so hard. I had to change my words, my thoughts, my actions! She suggested that before I purchased anything in my cart at Target or TJ Maxx that I make a couple of loops and take time to decide if I really needed what is in the cart. This was a pain in the rear, but you know what? I can’t tell you the last time that I left target with anything besides what was on my list. Also, lets talk Amazon…how about putting things in your cart but leaving them there for a day or two and then decide if you really need them? Another thing she had me do? Use one of my bank accounts (or set up a new one) to build wealth. What went in the account? Anything that I put back on the shelf, anything I wanted and would normally purchase because I could but chose not to. That nail polish I wanted because I loved the color? Put it back and add that $8.99 to the account. Look at that account every week and you’ll be amazed how much you are spending on things you don’t need without even thinking about it. When you do that, you can also recognize why the universe isn’t giving you more money, you aren’t taking care of what it has given you. Be aware of where your money is going and make yourself proud at the end of each day, week, and month.

Also, if you struggle with the judgement of others, I want you to know what helped me…If I have abundant wealth and someone in my family gets sick and can’t work, guess what I am prepared to do? Help them! Cover their bills, be present to help with what they need. If I am living paycheck to paycheck, I can’t do anything but pray and love them. I want to be able to provide when my loved ones need me. When my kids get into a dream school, I want them to be able to go and not graduate with debt. I want them to focus on getting the full college experience, they will have another 50 years to work after they graduate. When my parents and Rob’s parents get old and need help, I want to make sure that we are able to take great care of them and love on them without money being a burden. There are so many blessings with abundant wealth, so let go of any and all judgement, change your words and your thoughts, it works, I promise! How do I know it works? Because since I started this process in August, we have manifested over $150K of money we didn’t expect at all, and we didn’t change our daily activities for it to come. So yes, it does work!

If you want to jump on a 15-minute chat to see how I can help you personally, lets get it scheduled! I would love to help you!

I want to leave you with some of the statements I have been saying to myself in the mirror at least once a day, for months now. I suggest you steal them and start saying them to yourself also. Your mind will believe anything you tell it, so start telling it what you want rather than what you don’t want.

Stay tuned for my next Blog when I discuss something else that may be blocking you from great success!

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