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  • Writer's pictureKristy Barkley

Helpless or Helpful?

These two words are very similar, but depending which apply to you right now, they will have very different effects on you and those around you.

I’ve mostly stopped looking at social media and I am limiting my news to an hour a day, because in all honesty, they both leave me feeling a little helpless, and that is a very heavy, overwhelming feeling.

It is in my nature to be helpful, but I’ve recently learned that my version of helpful is too much for most people. You see, I am an Enneagram Type 1, the moral perfectionist. If you don’t know anything about the enneagram, I suggest taking the test and learning about your type asap. I’ve been reading a lot about the different types in books by Beth McCord and Suzanne Stabile, and when I read “The main thing about a One is that nothing is ever good enough. I constantly strive for perfection, yet there is no way to achieve it. It’s impossible.”… “Good enough is good enough for everybody else, but I’ve got to be right. And not just kind of right. I don’t want to make a C, I want to make an A+” (pg. 60, The Path Between Us, Stabile) I looked at my husband and said “Wait, you don’t feel this way?” He literally laughed out loud and said “Noooo!” through his laughter. I was caught so off guard that everyone doesn’t want things to be perfect, and of course he thought this realization was hilarious.

I share this to explain that it is in my nature to just tell you what you should be doing right now during this Pandemic. Times are unlike anything our generation has ever experienced and I don’t believe we have encountered the worst of it in the USA yet. In my mind I have a list for you, your kids and your ability to grow in many areas during this time when so many of us are home. But I need to reign it in, because apparently, you all don’t want me to tell you what to do.

For the last couple of days I have been wondering how I can be helpful, without being annoyingly bossy. Yesterday I decided that I want to offer #FutureBoards online classes for free, I will do a class for Kids ages 8-12 on March 30that 3pm EST, for teens ages 13-19 on March 31 at 3pm EST and adults 20 and up on April 2nd at 8pm EST. Each online training will last 60-90 minutes. During the course I will help you or your kids dream big without a dollar amount holding you back, I will help you or them uncover their passions, and so much more, check out the link to register and learn more.

Use Promo Code: HomeSchool to access the course for free

But what else can I do? I shamelessly admit that I am really good at Mindset Training and I recognize that others may struggle in this area. So, I am going to offer my Mindset Coaching free of charge, a $749 Value! Just log in and Use Promo Code: Blog With this coaching, I can serve you specifically and coach you through your scenario. There is very little in our control at the moment, but we are in control of our thoughts and our actions. I can’t tell you what to do, but I sure can help you take control of your thoughts and train them to serve you rather than harm you. Go ahead and log in to reserve your spot and I will contact you to get your time set up, we will have up to 6 coaching sessions. If you know a loved one that would benefit from #FutureBoards or Mindset Coaching, please share this with them and allow me to serve them.

The other thing I am really good at? Positive affirmations. I do drive my family crazy with my affirmations, but I think they’d admit that they actually work when used regularly. I also know there are plenty of people who think affirmations are hogwash, but they are wrong and science backs me up. I must also add though that action must accompany your affirmations. You can’t say “I am a millionaire” a thousand times while sitting on your couch watching Netflix and expect your bank account balance to increase. In my coaching, we will create them just for you, based on any residing negative thoughts or blocks you have. But for now, I just want to share some with you that I hope will carry you through this time. I truly have avoided creating affirmations during this crisis, but I was inspired by a dear friend of mine who was furloughed yesterday. I have been so worried about her, along with my other friends in the restaurant, entertainment, travel and events space among so many others. So many of my loved ones are first responders or in the medical field, what must they be going through right now? They don’t get a break, and they are likely being exposed to CoVid 19. They are all overwhelmingly in my prayers and thoughts. But today specifically, my friend let me know she almost reached out to get some affirmations from me. That text let me know that she can’t be alone, there must be so many that feel like their emotions are out of control and maybe they will be okay for a month or two, but what if this isn’t over by then? When will they be able to earn their normal wages again? Or the many parents who are at home with their kids 24/7, picking up water bottles, fruit snack wrappers, scattered shoes and battling their kids to do their schoolwork. How about the ones who feel like they have symptoms, but they aren’t able to get tested, how are they coping? It’s all just a lot right now, so I am going to do my best to share some affirmations. If any of them hit home to you, please put them on your bathroom mirror and say them multiple times a day. Science has proven that your brain believes what you tell it, so during this time, let’s be very careful what we are telling that precious brain of yours.


1. I am in control of my emotions, and I choose to be at peace.

2. I am surrounded by people that love and support me, all I need to do is reach out to them.

3. This time with my kids is precious and I choose to soak up their energy and excitement and help them navigate learning from home.

4. I love cooking every meal at home.

5. I will look for people to serve and help.

6. The sunrise reminds me that I still have good to do in the world today.

7. It is better for my house to be happy than clean.

8. I don’t know what the news will be tomorrow, but my foundation at home and in my faith is firm.

9. I will reach out to at least one loved one today and check on them.

10. I am not afraid. I was born with the strength to handle this.

11. I choose faith. Fear does not serve me.

12. I will be the strength and calm in my home and my kids will learn from me.

13. I am not a trained teacher. It is okay if I can’t teach my kids the same way their teacher would.

14. Financially, I will figure this out. I don’t know how the gaps will be filled between bills and income, but I trust that they will be filled.

15. My friends are just a facetime away and they would love to hear from me.

16. I am smart and I will figure today out.

17. I am loved.

18. I am worthy.

19. My paycheck does not define me.

20. My kids are so excited to have this uninterrupted time with me.

In closing, if I can serve you in any way, please reach out.

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